I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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