I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
