I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
