Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
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