i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
