I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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