Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
