wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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