So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Randomize
