Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Randomize
