The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
