Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize