could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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