you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She told me I should be a condom model.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
