grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
