these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
did i walk over a car last night?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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