In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sorry about my life...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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