i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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