Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
