are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
