What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize