He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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