We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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