really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
