I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
