I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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