I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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