she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
