Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
