would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
