I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
