I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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