I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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