How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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