I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
