I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
