we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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