It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize