She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
