Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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