oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
