Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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