She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
