I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
