When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
