I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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