just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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