is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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