Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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