so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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