Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
