Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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