It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
