Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
