Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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