I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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