He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize