Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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