I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
