HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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