Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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