I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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