I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Say something about gay babies.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
