And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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