sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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