this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
