how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Come share oat with me in your robe
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
