By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize