Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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