i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
