I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Someone signed my nipple.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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