She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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