lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
