It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
