Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
