The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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